The Truman Show

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game"
when we are already there?

10. Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control
when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27.Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ?

29. Why is toilet paper tiny squares and tissues big squares ?

Yes, I took a long hiatus. But I'm back and we'll see what happens. Here is my question: Is it me or are we experiencing a loss of civility as a culture? Granted, there is plenty of crap going around to combust peevishness but I think it's a dangerous stew.

Will we be able to remember how to let a car merge ahead of us? What are we all neurosurgeons on our way to diagnose some brain conumdrum? We can't stop for 30 seconds? I had no idea that everyone I share the road with is so powerful and busy and important that they simply can't be polite as well. It is really asking TOO much. God forbid they have to pee or vomit. The whole "stick up my butt" culture of a-hole behavior will smack itself down like some old school domino trick.

Community Service for Madoff & AIG hogs

What would REALLY be a fitting punishment for this level of greed? Greed so voracious it morphed into a primal ugliness barely removed from evil.

A Prison term? I think not. For "white collar" criminals prison is more like camp. Martha Stewart cooked, made ponchos and used glitter-glue for crafts.

Fines? Yeah, right.

How about non-stop, tangible, hard core community service. Like working and living in a homeless shelter or a half-way house for 20 years. No vacation. No private jets, country clubs, or luxury wheels. No Italian custom made suits, shoes or shirts. No bonuses. Minimum wage. Public transportation. Sharing a room. Doing their own laundry & cooking. SERVING OTHERS.

Oh, they should have to wear an ankle bracelet monitored 24/7. And have this message tattooed on their foreheads " I am a depraved loser." In a nice cursive font.

Did IRS hold SEC back from investigating Madoff?

Madoff investors were dutifully paying taxes to the IRS on all his faux trades based on his reporting to them & the IRS.

The investor's were royally screwed. Madoff lived high off the obese & sweating hog for years but will now, at least personally, pay the hog's reaper but someone has made out just FINE through all of this.

Yup. The IRS was taking in all those taxes. Will those monies be returned to the investors?

Is it really possible that the IRS had no idea these taxes were based on delusional criminality?

Think on that.

GENDER equality? NOT.

Sunday was International Women's Day. A belated shout out to all women and men with a brain. While driving around on errands after work yesterday I was listening to NPR and heard a news story about an investment firm right here in little Rhode Island. Seems the CEO, a gal, had inflated the pool of dinero that she and her associates handled for clients. The SEC is investigating and has a big stick up their butts about all of it.

I am not condoning her behavior.

But where was the friggin' SEC during the last 7 years when a primo member of the boy's club (and I do mean OLD boys as in always was/always will be), Bernie Madoff, was screwing the life out of senior citizens, non-profits, movie stars, small businesses and charities, eh?

For SEVEN YEARS a financial watch dog in Massachusetts was biting the SEC's ear about the evil incarnate Madoff but they simply continued to let Madoff pee on the bushes until everything was brown, stinking and dead. Oh, except for his off-shore investments, jewelry, home furnishings, antiques, luxury properties and CASH.

Oh, wait. How dim of me. My mistake. Those items belong to his WIFE.

Now that is some gender equality.

Sleep tight. The SEC is paying attention to dipshit little investment firms run by women who inflate the measure of their success.

DECLINE OF CIVILIZATION: What happened to "CIVIL"?

Ah, capitalism! Remember Beretta (sp?)? He was the detective in some TV show back in the day who was fond of saying, "Don't do the crime if you can't do the time."

We are not a country of dimwits. It's more that we might be collectively unconscious. Everyone, regardless of their political affiliation, religious or spiritual beliefs, IQ, social consciousness, ethical or moral views or any other identifier has reaped some benefit from our misguided conceit of entitlement. Not much black and white in the world. Plenty of nuance. We are flawed and human. Lots of gray. Hard to believe it is 2009 and we are still dulled by gray. I thought we were supposed to evolve. We've certainly done that technologically. In every other way we seem pathologically stuck in some primordial tar pit of greed.

But Our greed is not just about money and consumer goods. It's about resources. Our water. Our air. It's about human resources. Treating workers with contempt. Elevating prejudice to a cabinet post. Homeland Security. Raping every average citizen in the most dehumanizing way but taking their jobs and outsourcing them for profit only. Stealing their homes. Denying them basic protections and rights. How many have no health insurance? How many are hungry? How many can't afford their medications? What about the many that applied for and received credit cards they couldn't afford? Mortgages they couldn't afford?

Do they bear any responsibility for their own actions even though they are now victims? Exploited? What was the motivation behind their actions?

It is not just business owners and stockholders to blame for all this. Our government has clearly lost its friggin' mind and has no idea how to govern for the mutual benefit of all. Who holds all those government and quasi-governmental bureaus and agencies accountable? And how? Is anyone paying attention?

We ALL have to pay now and it ain't gonna be pretty. Some of us probably feel victimized by this horrific mess. Some feel self-righteous because they've been the canary in the coal mine of our decay for years. Many are befuddled. More feel betrayed. Have some people been more corrupt or selfish? Certainly. Some have broken every rule of the social contract to the point of evil. Like Bernie Madoff. But we have ALL lost our way.

Is the stimulus plan intended to prop up our capitalist framework a good or bad thing? Who knows. Seems likely it will just delay the inevitable collapse of our systems if implemented as intended. So we pay now or we pay later.

Two things come to mind: Peter Finch in the movie Network encouraging viewers to open their windows and yell "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!" And the vision laid out by Marge Piercy in her book Woman on the Edge of Time which the Philadelphia Inquirer describes as about "the possibilities for moral courage in contemporary society."

Ah, moral courage.